How To Hook Up On Valentine’s Day

The Single Guy’s Guide To Definitely Hooking Up On Valentine’s Day.


Coffee Shop

So you start every morning with a strong cup of joe? That’s a perfect opportunity to meet up with another lonely soul. Just keep your head on a swivel while you’re in line for your latte — you never know when your night-of-Valentine’s-Day love will show up.

And there she is, walking up to the line behind you. There’s no ring on that finger, so ball’s in your court. She’s looking a bit harried — it is the first thing this morning after all — so the best way to make an intro is with a kind gesture. Order her drink for her! Who says a coffee shop can’t work like a bar?

To really surprise her, don’t even ask her what she’d like. Just order two of what you’re having, and give the barista a wink and explain your play. To be really cute (this is for Valentine’s Day, after all) insist that they write some type of pet name on the coffee cup, like “Sweetcheeks” or “Sharon.” That way, you have an immediate icebreaker — and a go-to nickname once you get to the romantic times later on. Really commit and refuse to refer to her as anything else, no matter how much she pretends to hate it. Valentine-less women all appreciate immediate, intense commitment. No exceptions.


Finding a date at the office is easy enough. You probably have a good idea about the available pool, and you’re not going in totally blind.

Remember how everyone used to give out those little cardboard Valentines to their whole elementary school classes? Same principle here. Bring a whole set (word around the school bus stop is the cool kids are giving out Star Wars Valentines this year), complete with candy hearts if you’re fancy. Hand them out to everyone, so you can be smooth and subtle — just write very obvious, pointed messages to the coworkers you’ve got your eye on. Example: I like you a lot. Check yes and return to me if you’ll come home with me to be my Valentine for real tonight.

If you’re concerned about any possible HR issues, easy solution: Just add a really special message to their card about how you know about what happened after the company Holiday party back in December, and you’ll be in the clear.

Movie Theater

The movie theater might just be too easy on a night like tonight. There’s always a few terrible chick flicks running, and they’re like bright porch lights to the single-lady moths stuck out in the dark world alone.

Your approach here is easy enough: pick the most romantic movie of the bunch (by law it’s required that a Nicholas Sparks adaption is playing in theaters during Valentine’s Day, so that’s a safe bet), buy a ticket and full movie date accoutrement (one large popcorn, one large soda with two straws, and Sour Patch Kids), and head on in about fifteen minutes into the movie. That way, you can scope out the status quo, eliminating the couples on dates and zeroing in on the single ladies. Plus, you dodge the first part of every single one of those terrible movies, where the couple meets cute and hates each other at first — which warms your prospective paramour up for your next move.

After scoping out a seat, settle yourself down right next to the nearest, most single-looking woman. Just from her emotional state from the time of year, the movie, and the lure of free popcorn, you’ll be pulling the classic yawn to put the arm around the shoulder move in no time. If she asks exactly what the hell it is you think you’re doing, just give her a smile, point at the screen to the formerly mismatched couple, and say “That could be us.” Swoon, every time.

Dating Sites

The one place that people are sure to be on Valentine’s Day is joining dating sites.If you can dream it, you can do it.

Wise men have said that more than half of the women you find attractive would be better off suited dating you than whoever they chose without knowing you.

Join REAL SEX CONTACTS or BRITISH MATURE SEX for free and get laid on Valentine’s Day.